Make Your Own Kind of Music
I suppose the older I get the more my mantra becomes, you be you and I'll be me. There has to be a reason why we are so inexorably different from each other, and I don't think its because we are in a race to try to be just like each other. (Deep,huh!) We each need to make our own kind of music, dance to a different drummer........
For example, I grew up in a family of Jehovah's Witnesses, and because we weren't all Jehovah's Witnesses or at some point decided we weren't going to any longer be Witnesses, those that weren't were shunned and told they couldn't be part of the family group. That sucked! But you learn to get over it.
Growing up I learned (whether that was the lesson being taught or not, but nonetheless I learned)that not being neat and tidy and having an immaculate house with new things all around made you not as worthy a person as them. I don't think I ever learned that character mattered, or that it was okay to be me for who I was. It mattered that I fit in with the rest of them. It also mattered that if I did something wrong, or didn't look and dress appropriately, I made my family (mostly my mother) look bad and then if she so deemed it appropriate, would withhold her approval and love. (Boy, I guess I really should be talking to a therapist instead of the whole wide world....but hey, this is cheaper!)
Anyway, when Richter and I got married we made a conscious decision to move a relatively long way away from my family. I knew that we were not like the rest of my family. Our values were different. Our hopes and aspirations were different. Our idea of raising children were different. (You notice I say "different" and not "wrong.") And that is how we ended up where we are -- living in a small town, living in the same house the last 24 years (we moved a lot when I was growing up), not keeping up with the proverbial "Joneses" and just wanting to live our lives the way we wanted to and not how others thought we should live. I knew if we didn't move away, that hard feelings would emerge in my family and things would be said or done that could never be fixed, so to move was the best for family harmony.
Is our life perfect? Heck no. Do we have a lot of money? Nope. Do we live in a big house and drive a fancy car? Nope. Do we dress to the nines and have flashy jewelry? Nope. Are we happy? Yep. Does character matter? Yep. Does it matter if you have long hair, tattoos, college education, high paying job? Nope.
For the most part, those that I consider my closest family live in Wisconsin. They are a cast of characters that I dearly love, and each one of them is as different from one to the other and I love and appreciate them for their differentnesses (I know, that's not a word). And conversely they accept us for who we are and most importantly, love us just as we are.
As I said before, we are all different and I cherish the differences. We should celebrate the differences of each other instead of trying to make us all like the other. Here's to all our differences - warts and all! ~ Love, Momma Richter
For example, I grew up in a family of Jehovah's Witnesses, and because we weren't all Jehovah's Witnesses or at some point decided we weren't going to any longer be Witnesses, those that weren't were shunned and told they couldn't be part of the family group. That sucked! But you learn to get over it.
Growing up I learned (whether that was the lesson being taught or not, but nonetheless I learned)that not being neat and tidy and having an immaculate house with new things all around made you not as worthy a person as them. I don't think I ever learned that character mattered, or that it was okay to be me for who I was. It mattered that I fit in with the rest of them. It also mattered that if I did something wrong, or didn't look and dress appropriately, I made my family (mostly my mother) look bad and then if she so deemed it appropriate, would withhold her approval and love. (Boy, I guess I really should be talking to a therapist instead of the whole wide world....but hey, this is cheaper!)
Anyway, when Richter and I got married we made a conscious decision to move a relatively long way away from my family. I knew that we were not like the rest of my family. Our values were different. Our hopes and aspirations were different. Our idea of raising children were different. (You notice I say "different" and not "wrong.") And that is how we ended up where we are -- living in a small town, living in the same house the last 24 years (we moved a lot when I was growing up), not keeping up with the proverbial "Joneses" and just wanting to live our lives the way we wanted to and not how others thought we should live. I knew if we didn't move away, that hard feelings would emerge in my family and things would be said or done that could never be fixed, so to move was the best for family harmony.
Is our life perfect? Heck no. Do we have a lot of money? Nope. Do we live in a big house and drive a fancy car? Nope. Do we dress to the nines and have flashy jewelry? Nope. Are we happy? Yep. Does character matter? Yep. Does it matter if you have long hair, tattoos, college education, high paying job? Nope.
For the most part, those that I consider my closest family live in Wisconsin. They are a cast of characters that I dearly love, and each one of them is as different from one to the other and I love and appreciate them for their differentnesses (I know, that's not a word). And conversely they accept us for who we are and most importantly, love us just as we are.
As I said before, we are all different and I cherish the differences. We should celebrate the differences of each other instead of trying to make us all like the other. Here's to all our differences - warts and all! ~ Love, Momma Richter
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